It doesn't have to be Valentine's Day to book a fantastic getaway where supervised activities engage kids, so adults can engage each other.

Traveling parents often dream about an idyllic resort where peace of mind, romance and torrid lovemaking are available on the daily activities program - and repeated several times a day.  And sometimes, if Nana and Papa are willing to watch the kids while parents vacation, they find it. Now you can cast all guilt aside; several destination resorts provide such excellent childcare that kids stay happily engaged while parents pursue more mature interests. It's a win-win situation for all concerned.

Guest Segmentation Makes Any Fantasy Possible

If you've been to a rowdy all-inclusive resort with the kids and longed to be on the "other side" of the property where sophisticated adults read Russian novels by the pool, welcome to guest segmentation. This practice allows top properties to woo honeymooners and family reunions and singles at the same time (albeit with three marketing budgets) and spread the different lifestyles around the property so each feels catered to.

I have some favorite resorts that do it quite well, in settings that are conducive to the pursuit of adult pleasures.  They tend to be large, luxurious places and, in truth, size usually does matter.  So if sun and sand are what turn you on, here are five of my fantasies, in no particular order.

Hotel Del Coronado
San Diego, California
I love this Victorian-era (ca. 1888) oceanfront resort where rooms and public spaces have been restored to their traditional grandeur while new facilities for families have been tastefully added on.  For age segmentation, the Spa at the Del provides special treatments for teens, and mother-daughter and father-son specials at times designated just for them. New oceanfront cottages built in the classic Del style at the Beach Village have their own concierge service and pools, keeping noisy splashing away from the main hotel pool and its clusters of returning guests. The excellent Tent City Kids Camp offers activities, surf lessons and meals from 10am to 11pm to ages 4-12 so that adults can enjoy a gourmet experience at the romantic 1500 Ocean, then pick up their weary, ready-for-bed offspring. 

Grand Wailea Resort Hotel & Spa
Mau'i, Hawai'i
This romantic, lushly landscaped property laced with waterfalls, lagoons and manmade water features boasts a 2,000-foot-long Wailea Canyon "Activity Pool" which lures kids away from other parts of the property to focus on waterslides and supervised pool activities, while you second  honeymooners can stay shacked up in an exclusive concierge-level wing. Camp Grande keeps ages 5 to 12 busy in a 20,000-square-foot facility that has crafts and arcade games, a theatre for dress-up and shows, and an outdoor playground. Famous for an exceptionally trained spa staff and treatments that use indigenous materials, the Grand Wailea Spa eases parental guilt by offering families with kids their own Keiki Spa for children 12 and under, a Teen Spa where loaner iPods are handed out, and separately staffed parent-child treatment rooms for family together massages.

The Breakers
Palm Beach, Florida
One of the Atlantic coast's most notable classic hotels, the grand Italian Renaissance style Breakers has successfully adapted to the changing needs of its multi-generational clientele by adding new facilities to accommodate children and grandchildren. Recent family-friction-reducing upgrades include sound-proofing all guestrooms, establishing connecting rooms in certain areas to concentrate large families, and most brilliantly, building a Family Entertainment Center complex with its own heated pool, games arcade, playroom, Coconut Crew Interactive Camp for ages 3-12 and Italian restaurant. These and other facilities lessen young kids' impact on the resort's main building and seven other restaurants.

Four Seasons Punta Mita
Bahia de Banderas, Nayarit, Mexico
This isolated purpose-built Pacific coast resort and residential community features 173 rooms and suites graciously tucked under acres of dense palms in eco-sensitive low room blocks.  Guests can select between super luxe rooms with patios and hammocks located closest to the main restaurant and core hotel facilities, suites with private plunge pools or -- a golf cart ride away -- the quiet Oasis wing, an ideal family zone where rooms are clustered on an "island" surrounded by a lazy river pool.  Although the common supervised Kids for All Seasons children's club operates from a lounge in the main building, it's entered from a lower level that's removed from the adult fine dining and bar facilities. Luxuriously appointed cabanas at the adults-only pool ensure privacy and discretion and, though the beautiful white sand beach has to be shared, excursions to nearby private beaches can be arranged. One drawback is the current scarcity of dining venues; however, at the Pacific oceanfront seafood restaurant, parents can shoo rambunctious kids out from under the thatched palapa to play on the sand while enjoying a moment après-dinner. 

Atlantis
Paradise Island, Bahamas
While some honeymooners might not find the Caribbean's largest casino the most romantic hideaway, I love this resort's very adult glitz and style. As a popular convention destination, Atlantis has had years of experience in segmenting its guests by booking them into the more moderately priced guestrooms or the fancier, butler-served Royal Towers. The under-water-world theming prevalent throughout the property makes for a variety of exceptionally scenic dining venues; waterslides course down pyramids and through shark tanks to tickle adults; and lazy river rides - supervised by lifeguards - are a kid magnet. The adult-focused The Cove and The Reef condominiums have large, luxurious units with kitchens. It sounds family-oriented, but this area is farthest from the waterpark and adjacent to an adults-only pool, guaranteeing that families with younger children who wilt from the Caribbean sun will stay away. Parents have to traverse the casinos to drop ages 5-12 off at the excellent Discovery Channel Kids Camp, or walk the teens to Club Rush, but on the way back you're free to become whoever you want to be among the crowd of impervious gamblers.

If Size Doesn't Matter

Having shared my fantasies at some top resorts, I'll add that my husband and I also adore the tiny Tabbard Inn in Washington DC. This local favorite has a fabulous restaurant and tweedy bar haunted by politicos, yet it's so small that you can put baby to sleep with a monitor upstairs or leave school-age kids alone in the room, knowing they'll be fine.  How's that for romantic?